5 Ways To Handle Criticism | Steve Such Drums
Whether we like it or not, the actions you take in life will always be subject to criticism from others. This holds especially true in the world of music, where personal tastes can be so subjective and opinionated.
Criticism can often be a tough pill to swallow, so here are 5 things to think about when you encounter it:
#1 - YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY
I have a confession to make. Personally, I can’t stand the taste of seafood.
I’d say about 99% of the time, seafood tastes absolutely revolting to me. Of course, when I mention this to someone at a restaurant, they look at me like I’ve committed a cardinal sin!
But… me not liking seafood doesn’t mean that seafood is a BAD thing and should never be served again. It just means that I, Steve Such, don’t like seafood.
Some people like jazz. Some people like metal. Some people like hip-hop. Some people listen to all three. Some people don’t listen to any of it.
Just because a person doesn’t like something (or criticizes it) doesn't mean that it has absolutely no place in the world. It just means that it’s not their cup of tea.
No matter how good your intentions are, you simply can’t please everybody. When you try to, you'll end up holding back and playing it safe.
Instead of trying to please everyone, ask yourself “What is my gift to offer to others in this life?” Once you have the answer to this, just go out there and make it happen. Criticism may come your way from time to time, but you will also 10-20x the amount of positive impact you can have during your time here on this planet. Why? Because you weren’t playing it safe.
Once again: You can’t please everybody, so stop trying to.
#2 - YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ON TO SOMETHING
Steve Jobs was criticized for creating computers with a “closed system.” The founders of AirBnb were laughed at for their concept (“You want a complete stranger to be able to pay to stay in another stranger’s home without ever having met?!”). Geddy Lee was criticized as having too high of a voice (the singer of Rush, one of the most successful rock bands of all time). Many of our world’s most respected figures faced heavy criticism before eventually being honored as an innovator.
Imagine if any of these people had quit at the first sign of criticism… what a shame that would have been!
The point is, whenever someone starts to criticize you, it might be a sign that you’re actually on to something. Many of your worst critics are simply those who are uncomfortable with any type of change. They “like it the way it is and want to keep it the way it always has been.”
Ignore their criticism. You may just be on to something.
#3 - YOUR CRITIC MAY BE JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS
Counterintuitively, some people choose to criticize you because they might be jealous of the very thing they are criticizing you for.
If “John" constantly teases you for being “too nice,” maybe it’s because deep down he wishes here were as nice as you.
If “Jane” writes a horrible review about how much she hates your album/playing/etc., maybe she's really trying to take the focus off of her own personal struggle as a musician.
Criticism can often be a coping mechanism for someone’s own securities or lack of action in their own life. Always keep this in mind when facing your nastiest critic.
#4 - WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF
If you encounter someone who criticizes your talent, profession, or character, ask yourself: “Why am I seeking validation from this person in the first place?” "Should his/her approval really matter to me?”
Think about this: if you aren’t receiving some form of this criticism from time to time, it might mean that you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough past your own personal limits and fears.
After all, it’s your life to live, not theirs. It becomes virtually impossible to let criticism effect you negatively if you stay focused your own happiness, goals, and purpose.
#5 - ARE YOU HEADING TOWARD THE MOUNTAIN?
I’ll end with this. Renowned author Neil Gaiman spoke the following words at a college commencement speech:
"Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be – an author, primarily of fiction, making good books, making good comics and supporting myself through my words – was a mountain. A distant mountain. My goal.
And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the mountain I would be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do, I could stop, and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the mountain."
If someone criticizes what you are doing, stop and ask “For the thing they are criticizing me for, am I at least getting closer to the mountain?"
If the answer is yes, ignore their criticism.
As long as your actions and efforts are always moving toward the mountain, don’t let criticism stop you in your tracks. Instead, use criticism as fuel to get you to the mountain faster.
THANKS FOR READING!
Thanks so much for reading this week's article! Each week, I select one person from the video "100 RULES FOR DRUMMERS” and write an article based on the three-word rule they offered. This week’s rule (WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF) was submitted by the great Johnny Rabb.
My goal is to provide questions, thought experiments, and specific action steps you can take in order to improve both your DRUMMING and LIFE!
If you personally found this article helpful, please pay it forward by sharing it with just one person in your life that you think would become inspired from reading it!
If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, I’d LOVE to hear from you! Please feel free to reach out anytime using the comments section below or by emailing me at steve@stevesuchdrums.com
Thanks,
-Steve Such
ABOUT JOHNNY RABB
Thank you to Johnny Rabb for offering his top three words of advice for drummers (WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF) and for inspiring me to write this week’s article!
Johnny Rabb is an active live and studio drummer. He is currently on tour with the platinum-selling rock band Collective Soul, and recently recorded the "See What You Started By Continuing" album, which will be released in Fall 2015. The band has a fall tour planned through the end of the year.
Johnny has been fortunate enough to develop a series of cymbals with the MEINL cymbal company. His Drumbals and Safari cymbals are part of the Generation X line. He is also the founder of his own drumstick company. Johnny recently joined the NFUZD Audio team as a product advisor and clinician. He continues to design and develop new sounds and innovations for his unique concepts on the drums.
As an author, Johnny continues his passion for education. He released The Official Freehand Technique Book/CD. Johnny was also voted #1 Best Educational Author by Modern Drummer’s Readers Poll for his book Jungle Drum ‘N’ Bass for the Acoustic Drum Set.
He has performed with a wide range of artists such as Tanya Tucker, Hank Williams III, Maynard Ferguson, DJ Hype, Alain Caron, Frank Gambale, Larry Tagg, SheDaisy, Deana Carter and Mindy McCready.
He has traveled worldwide conducting countless clinics and master classes including the Montreal Drumfest, PASIC, Musik Messe, Meinl Drum Festival, Drummer Fest (Belgium) and the Ultimate Drummer’s Weekend, to name a few. He has also instructed at world reknown drum camps, including KOSA and RHYTHM (Bavarian Music Academy).
Johnny performs with MEINL cymbals, NFUZD Audio, REMO drumheads, Johnny Rabb Drumsticks, Pro-Logix Practice Pads, AUDIX microphones, Gibraltar Hardware, and Westone in-ears.